Monday, September 26, 2011

All the Single Ladies...

I think we can all agree that relationships get complicated at some point or another. Having a relationship, not having one, wanting one, wanting out of can all get a little messy sometimes! Here lately I've been having a lot of conversations about relationships with my single and not so single friends and I have come to a few conclusions about dating.

#1. It's important to keep things in perspective.

So you met a hottie and hit it off with great conversations. Lets keep it real and not start planning your wedding. Could this be the one?! Maybe...but time will tell. While it is fun to think about all the "what ifs?" that come with meeting said hottie it's really important to make sure you keep in perspective that this is a person you really don't know that much about. If this becomes a person you're dating they should be treated as a person you're dating, if they become your boyfriend same thing, and then husband. The whole getting to know someone can be a beautiful experience no need to rush it.

#2. Believe him when he says he's not looking for a relationship.

I can't tell you how many times I have fallen into this or received phone calls from friends crying about some guy being a jerk. Maybe you can change a person's mind....but lets keep it real yo' and say that you probably can't. Guys almost always tell a girl what they're looking for within the first few conversations they have. If he is concerned that someone might snatch you off the singles market you'll know it.

#3. There is something to be said for planning ahead.

A text at 5:30 p.m. to grab a drink at 8p.m. does not constitute as a date...or shouldn't in my opinion. I know I'm busy lady just like most of my friends. Its frustrating to get a text like this. Obviously, if you're interested, you want to go but on the other hand my time is precious you just complicated the evening I had planned with laundry, pino grigio, and watching The Bachelor. So, instead of saying "no" to you I have to squeeze laundry in with cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming on Wednesday. (these are hypothetical scenarios of my week...promise!) My point is that it's respectful to call, not text, and plan a date. This kind of effort makes a great impression!

I'm a huge believer in being honest with myself. (not something I've always been good at but isn't everyone a work in progress?!) Also, I know there are some really great guys out there and I'm lucky enough to have some of them in my life.

So...those are my thoughts on how to keep it real in dating. I'm sure I'll come up with some more soon.

Disclaimer-While I have a masters in counseling I am not licensed and these are just my rants so nothing I say should be used as professional advice.....thanks! :)

1 comment:

  1. i definitely agree with all you said! being single can get quite hairy. thanks for sharing!!